Goblin Terrorises Male Teachers: School Under Siege

Goblin Terrorises Male Teachers: School Under Siege

Kandana Primary School in Bulilima, Matabeleland South Province, has become a hotspot for paranormal activity, leaving teachers quaking in their boots. A mischievous female goblin has taken up residence, wreaking havoc on the school community.

According to sources, the goblin's reign of terror began last June, with nighttime visits to male teachers' homes, scattering kitchen utensils and conjuring up cooking sounds. Some brave (or traumatised) souls claim to have seen the goblin in visions, confirming its female form.

Sleepless nights have become the norm, with the goblin allegedly sitting on the male teachers' chests, sparking fears of unwanted “lula lula” (we'll leave that to your imagination).

“It comes at night and drops kitchen utensils, sometimes we just hear movements as if it is someone walking. In some cottages, some teachers say they hear the sounds of someone cooking. Some of our colleagues have seen it in visions and they say it has a female body.”

Goblin Terrorises Male Teachers: School Under Siege

One teacher confessed, “We suspect it's the same goblin that terrorised police officers at Gwambe Clinic. We're on edge, waiting for transfers before things take a darker turn.”

In a bizarre twist, the local community has enlisted witch hunters to tackle the issue, with a fundraising campaign underway for an exorcism extravaganza. Diaspora donations are welcome!

Councillor Ambassador Mabehdi Ngulani played it coy, saying, “I'm still waiting for more details…I've been away.” (Translation: “I'm keeping my distance from this goblin business.”)

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Will Kandana Primary School survive this supernatural siege? Only time (and possibly some ghostbusters) will tell.