We came across this thread full of Life Advice & Lessons for Men in Their Thirties.
We found immense benefit we should share it and reach more people. The author gave us permission and you can get his details at the end of the post.
(Thread starts here)
Just because you’ve turned 30 it doesn’t you know how TO BE 30. I’ve spent the first two years of my 30s learning how to be in my 30s. Here are a few things I learned [A Thread] feel free to add your own lessons at the bottom in comments so this can be enriching.
Your body is different.
They say the older you get the stronger your body odour. Whereas I could skip a shower in my 20s. That’s not an option anymore. Also, your skin doesn’t moisturize itself as well, previously I could get out of the house sans lotion. Today not possible.
Speaking of body, for men testosterone levels start dropping @ 29/30/31 and estrogen production increases – that means weight comes on fast and stays on. Gym, eating clean and an active lifestyle Are not options, it’s your life every day.
Time.
There’s less of it. You have to manage it – if you find yourself idle there’s something critical you’re not doing. I’m a father, husband, son in law, business owner, hustler, writer, student and artist. I have to carry my roles with me all the time, there’s no letting up
Sex.
You’re simply not as potent as you used to be. Your testosterone is lower You have to take deliberate steps to remain potent. Watch what you eat, cut the alcohol etc. Many fall into supplements & herbs – which are quick fixes & might lead to dependency.
From being a son, I'm now the head of the house kumba kwedu (in my family). I’m consulted & my opinion matters. What a shock. If my siblings & cousins face issues they come to me. People look up to me to make sound judgement and lead. Lol, I was never ready for this.
Money.
It’s no longer about not being broke but about wealth. Assets, balance sheets etc. This was a rude awakening for me. Wealth is gained incrementally one thing after the other if you don’t learn to invest in your thirties – you’re going to have a very rough 40s.
Manhood & leadership.
From being a son, I'm now the head of the house kumba kwedu. I’m consulted & opinion matters. What a shock. If my siblings & cousins face issues they come to me. People look up to me to make sound judgement and lead. Lol, I was never ready for this.
Alcohol.
Jameson-Irish-Whiskey
Is not your friend. I’ve learned finally how to TAKE alcohol. Learned my tolerance and what works for me.
There was so much peer pressure around drinking in my 20s, the goal was always to get wasted. Now I realize there’s more to life than that.
(Admin note: Even worse still with the fake, cheap whiskies that are flooding the market and alleged to cause infertility and a host of other problems.)
Habits.
In my 20s I lost two jobs for losing my temper. If I was angry I didn’t care who I was talking to. In my thirties, I soon realized this was an expensive habit and had to work on my anger issues because there’s so much more to lose now.
Loss
Gradually I’ve learned to deal with loss. When I lost my 1st car at 26 I thought it was the end of the world, I was inconsolable. Then I got another one and lost it and got another. Gradually it dawned to me that life had seasons & second chances. Now I’m less afraid.
Of losing things or people.
You will recover. Now I no longer sell assets when I’m broke because I realize that broke is just a phase. And people come and go.
Relatives.
I got a rude awakening about these when I got married. No one is more jealous of you that your own Hama. They are some of the most toxic people around. They are more comfortable with you if you’re not doing better than them or their children.
And lastly friendships.
I was naive in this area I will admit. I, unfortunately, kept a lot of people around me whom I thought were for me. Only to later learn otherwise. Shedding these unhealthy friendships was a big learning curve.
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The following are some of the comments from others on the Twitter thread.
@kzhanje
May I add being comfortable with yourself?a lot of the 20s phase is characterized by people being what they think society wants them to be or what’s ‘cool’. Learn #selflove in your 30s & be the version of you that’s for you
@booradennis
When you're still 25 and you're 30 after 5 years to come self just got saved This ain't just helping 30's but grooming us 25's to be better 30's when get to the bridge to cross it! Thank you for such a powerful thread
About the writer
My name is Paul Brezhnev Banda.
I’m a husband and father to a 7-year-old girl. I’m a creative director at @sierracreativesa young advertising agency in Harare.
I’m an author of the book @CookingBook4Menwhich is a cooking guide for men.
I’m passionate about creating global individuals. I hope to turn that set of tweets into a fully-fledged book one day. You can see the thread on Twitter here.
P.S
What are your thoughts on this? What would you add? What have you learnt? Let's discuss in the comments below.
