The tears- there were none- it was like I was underwater and I couldn’t breathe.

I could not ask myself how because I knew how it had happened. My mind was spinning, my heart racing. I felt my world crumbling down or perhaps that was just me falling on my knees.

I felt Jackie’s arms around me but I could not make sense of what she was saying. I was in a world of my own. She let me be.
After a while, she said, ‘I am sorry Thessaly. I really am. We need to get out of this toilet or everyone is going to start wondering what we are up to. It’s nearly lunchtime, perhaps we could find somewhere to sit.’

I just nodded my head and got up. We decided to go to a near-by coffee shop. I guess I was too stunned to say anything.
‘ Tess? Tess?!’
‘sorry’
‘It’s not the end of the world. Perhaps you need some time to process all this. If its any help just know that I’m there for you.’
‘it’s just that I had never pictured it like this. It wasn’t part of the plan. Where do I even start?’
‘ the perfect start would be with James. You have to tell him and hear what he has to say.’
‘urrgh’
‘you did sleep with him, hello’
‘so I did.’ We then burst into a bout of laughter.

‘everything else will fall into place when you tell James. He loves you.’

He did love me, she was right but the million-dollar question was that: Was he ready to be a father?
James and I had an age difference of ten years, not that I had ever given it any thought.

I was 24 he was 34. The most eligible bachelor you could say.

I guess you are right. But I can’t tell him over the phone. Will await his return next week.’
‘Good then. If you need anything, am a phone call away’

‘Thanks love. I guess now is just good a time to tell my sisters. Can not keep it from them. As for my parents, I would break it to them after I have told James.’
‘sounds okay. you want me to be there?’ she asked holding my hand.
‘I think I can handle it. Thanks though’

 

‘its okay. Let me rush back to work. Call me if you need anything.’
‘okay girl, thanks.’ We hugged and parted ways.

I had rehearsed it. No point in small talk and fencing. We were all bunched up in the bedroom that we shared.

‘I waited until I was certain. I am afraid I’m pregnant,’ I said simply.
Thalia’s face was full of concern. ‘ oh, no,’ she said moving towards me. ‘oh, you poor thing.’ She embraced me and held me close.

I said nothing. I felt her and that’s when the tears came streaming down my face.
‘ eish, I ask how it happened-but why didn’t you use protection?’ Theodora asked.
‘that’s not fair,’ Thalia responded.
‘what isn’t ?’
‘you asking that when she is like this.’
‘it’s kinda awful,’ I said.

I went by the window and looked outside oblivious of what was going on outside.
‘have you told him?’ Theo asked.
‘Not yet, I came to you guys first.’ I replied.
‘I never thought it would happen, never really planned it.’ I cried.

‘its okay. no need to cry up a storm. James’ there for you.’ Thalia said.
‘all will be well.’ Theo said.
‘have a headache, let me lie down for a while.’
‘ okay.’ They chorused and got out of the room.

Telling my sisters was kind of a relief. Now, James- it was going to be a long week

Click here to see a list of all the chapters of the diary of a single mother

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