Cynicism Around Makandiwa's Perception of the ZiG
In the mystical land of Zimbabwe, charismatic UFIC leader and preacher Emmanuel Makandiwa stood before his congregation.
His eyes sparkled with an otherworldly glow, and his voice carried the weight of a thousand gold bars.
The Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe had just pulled off a financial magic trick. On April 5th, 2024, they introduced the ZiG currency—a dazzling creation backed by actual gold.
The congregation leaned in, their eyes wide with curiosity. Makandiwa cleared his throat and began his sermon:
“Listen up, my fellow banana enthusiasts. ZiG is not just a currency; it's a state of mind. You see, money is like a banana—sweet, yellow, and sometimes a little mushy. But unlike regular bananas, ZiG won't turn brown and squishy in your pocket. No, my friends, ZiG is forever!”
He paused dramatically, allowing the words to sink in. The crowd nodded, their minds ripe with anticipation.
The congregation echoed, their voices blending into a harmonious chant. It was like a banana choir singing praises to the financial gods.
“But wait,” Makandiwa said, wagging a finger, “there's a catch. ZiG's value depends on perception. If you doubt its power, it might deflate faster than an overripe banana. So, believe! Trust! Imagine ZiG as a golden banana hammock cradling your financial dreams.”
The crowd exchanged puzzled glances. Golden banana hammock? Was this a new yoga pose?
Makandiwa grinned.
“Ah, my dear friends, let's take a lesson from nature. You see, minerals—like gold—are valuable because we say so. It's all about collective agreement. Imagine a group of monkeys sitting in a jungle, discussing the worth of a banana. One monkey says, ‘This banana is worth three mangoes and a coconut.' And the others nod in agreement. Voilà ! Value assigned!”
Cynicism Around Makandiwa's Perception of the ZiG
The congregation nodded, enlightened. They envisioned themselves as savvy banana traders, haggling over ZiG prices at the local market.
But what about the US dollar?
Makandiwa raised an eyebrow. “Ah, the mighty dollar! It's like a banana that everyone agrees is the best banana. Americans believe in it so fiercely that even their squirrels hoard acorns in dollar bills. It's all about trust, my friends. Trust in the green banana!”
Makandiwa encouraged Zimbabweans to adopt a similar culture, stating,
So any piece of paper that is introduced, and if we agree and transfer value into it, it will work for the economy. It’s up to us, the people. We agree that there is value in this thing, then value is transferred.
To support his message, Prophet Makandiwa quoted Matthew 23:16, where Jesus referred to the gold in the temple, emphasizing that it is the temple that gives value to the gold.
Similarly, he likened Christians to the temple, asserting their ability to give value to currency and other aspects of their lives.
And with that, the crowd erupted in applause.
They believe that somehow the ZiG notes will successfully stabilize the Zimbabwean economy where Bearer's, Traveller's cheques, Bond notes, and ZWL, etc have cataclysmically failed.
And so, dear reader, the legend of the ZiG begins—a tale of ghost gold, belief, and the quest for financial enlightenment.
