diaries of a single black mother

Diary Of A Single Mother (7)

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My mother was an easy-going person. But then was nothing easy about your daughter telling you that she is pregnant. It's not something that happens every day. I was just finding it difficult.

I usually worked on Saturdays, but I requested for an off day this particular Saturday because I knew mom would have a bit of time on her hands in the morning.

I found her in the kitchen baking.
‘hey, Tess,’
‘morning mom,’ I took a deep breath.
I’ I have a meeting at church in the afternoon. So am just doing a bit of baking.’
‘okay. Can I help?’
‘ sure, you could grease the pans since am almost done with the dough.’

I got busy helping out. My mind was at work, how in the world was I going to tell her. She had to attend this meeting. I was not in a hurry. The pregnancy was also not going anywhere. It could wait.

I later discussed the matter with my sister of how I had chickened out at the last minute.

‘I can't tell her’ I said to them
‘ it's tough, but you have to.’ Theo said
‘ you can't keep it from her forever.’ Thalia added.
‘ but when I look at her I get so tongue-tied. Nothing comes out.’
‘ Perhaps you could tell Terrence’s mother and ask her to tell mom.’ Theo suggested.

Terrence’s mom, Judith, was my mom’s friend. It was a practical solution which I liked.
Telling Terrence’s mom was less of a nightmare. She burst into tears and so did I. She said she would help me tell my mom the following day.

That night I couldn’t get a wink of sleep. I thought about abortion, but I didn’t put my heart into it. I was 3 months gone. Besides, I had heard some gory stories about some girls who had died during the process or who never conceived again.

So I ditched the thought. I then thought about the comedy “problem child”, the child that was anonymously dropped at people’s houses until he ended up at an orphanage. That was a gruelling thought and hell that just wasn’t who I was.

I then remembered someone telling that if you fell hard on your tummy you could have a miscarriage. But pain and I were enemies. Eish, this was just going to be a hell of a life.

I was just a girl, a girl who had let her guard down. Now I had to brace for whatever that was coming.

Pregnancy wasn’t such a bad thing. It was just the timing that was all wrong. I was going to go back to college with a huge belly. Urgh! I covered my head with blankets.

The thought made me wanna puke. What was Farai going to say? Oh, by the way, Farai was this amazingly handsome guy at college that my friends had been trying to hook me up within our last semester. He had this dashing boyish smile and a body that would drive any girl crazy.

And oh yes I had been thinking about dropping the towel with James and hook up with Farai. Now fate had other plans. Here I was- pregnant and about to face my mother with the heartbreaking news.

Tomorrow was just another day that I was surely not looking forward to. I played out the different scenes that could happen until I fell asleep.

Click here to see a list of all the chapters of the diary of a single mother

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